Childcare, what’s that? Ha! When I first read that this month’s topic in our Real Mom’s Series would be on childcare, I almost sat it out. That’s because Jason and I actually DON’T have childcare for the twins, so how much could I really add to the conversation? I have absolutely no sage advice on how to find an amazing nanny or a trustworthy babysitter. I can’t give you recommendations for finding that great balance between help and time with your children. I have nothing to say on any of it.
When I take the twins to the playground on any given weekday morning, I’m usually stared at by nannies. Lot’s of the time I even get comments, wow, you are doing this yourself, with twins?! Yes, ladies I am. Not to say that I am against hiring a nanny or having a little bit of help, in fact there are plenty of days when I wish I had that luxury. I have friends who are able to take a workout class, meet up (childless) for coffee, sit undisturbed and focus on their work, and it all sounds amazing!
Jason and I both have rather unconventional jobs and hours. We split our time up and both watch the twins so that the other can work on our scheduled days. Sometimes I think it’s not ideal. It causes tension when we both have shortened (or in my case severely shortened) work hours. We talked time and time again about hiring a nanny but at this point, it’s not in the budget for us.
Now for the REALITY check. When it comes down to it, I stopped pushing for a nanny a long time ago. When I was first thinking about going back to work after the babies were born, Jason and I would have long discussions about hiring childcare. How much would it cost to find a nanny for twins? Would that cost be worth it versus the number of hours that I work, etc.? Now, the twins are 18 months old and while there are definitely those days when I dream of some help, the reality is, I actually prefer being a stay-at-home-working-Mom. I enjoy being the one who takes care of my babies 24 hours a day and so does Jason. I miss them like crazy on Fridays when he takes them to the zoo or out for an entire day so that I can shoot recipes. While it can be seriously intense to have a baby or two pulling on my leg while I try to work on a recipe or respond to an email, it’s routine and I work with it.
It means I get to prepare breakfast and lunch for them. To watch Jackson be brave on the big slide at the park. To be the one who picks up Millie when she trips and scrapes her hand, again. Some might say that I’M the one with the luxury. Sure it’s not relaxing, I have zero “me-time,” and my roots and split ends are horrendous, but I sort of love it. The crazy full-time Mom life that I’ve created for myself. We definitely don’t have date nights, or much couple time, and that is something that has to change. So, eventually I will need a babysitter, and a pre-school, and a backup plan. But in this moment I am enjoying the wildness of my life with twins. So, do you have help with your children or do you do it all?
Read what the other Mama’s have to say about Childcare and what works for their families:
Ave Styles / The Effortless Chic / Sacramento Street / The Life Styled / Hey Mama / A Daily Something / Thoughts by Natalie / The Sweetest Occasion / Sarah Sherman Samuel
julia-tagandtibby says
I admire that you do that! My kids are older and in school, so I have somewhat of a consistent work schedule (that ends around 2:45pm). Sick kiddos, off school days, and summer throw curve balls but I've been amazed to meet many other work from home parents who do the "juggle." Parents Morning Out was a lifesaver for me when my kiddos were small (1-2 mornings a week).
Leah Bergman says
Thank you Julia! BTW, What is Parents Morning Out?! Sounds amazing...is there coffee? 😉
julia-tagandtibby says
Its basically a pre-preschool. Our local YMCA offers it and some churches do too. Maybe your area has it!
Leah Bergman says
Thank you! I'll look into it.
The Kitchen Prep says
Sounds like we're in the same boat! {Except I only have one toddler. Whew. lol} I struggle with this weekly and I can completely identify with every word you've written. My husband and I are both self-employed; he works an 8-6 job and also owns a side business that often requires him to have obligations on the weekends as well. My "work hours" are pretty much restricted to Cole's nap time, so I do what I can when I can. Now that the blog has grown a bit, I find it harder and harder to keep up, especially because I don't feel like it's fair to have my son cooped up all day just because I have deadlines. It's hard. It's hard when I get frustrated that my work space is also a play space/living space/entertaining space, etc. It's hard when the weekends come and my husband is available to watch Cole but I want to actually hang out with both of them at the same time. {What a novel idea!} It's hard when I think about the money that we would have to spend to put Cole in "school", and even harder when I think about giving up the time we spend together, let alone finding someone I trust to watch him. I think we might just continue this way for another year or so, but most days I'm not sure I'm doing a very good job at either "job." It's nice to know I'm not alone in this craziness! 🙂
Leah Bergman says
I can relate to so much of what you just said! The weekends might be the hardest. Usually I work on Saturdays while Jason watches the twins which leaves me feeling guilty about lack of family time. We make a point of always spending Sundays as a family doing something fun and kid-friendly. We go to the zoo or to the aquarium, the park, etc. It's a nice way to end the week all together. As for the rest, yes, yes and yes. You and I are completely in the same crazy-town boat! Just know I'm going through this season right along side you. xo
Cyd says
Our situations are similar, as you know. Emerson is with me full-time and I try to get help on shoot days...which is also why we try to batch shoot so many posts in one day. Then I try to work after she's in bed and before she wakes up in the morning since Bob is gone Monday morning through Friday at dinnertime so there's no backup of any kind during the week. It's exhausting and usually by Friday I'm reaaaallly ready for a glass of wine and to have another grown-up around for a couple of days, but right now it feels right and it feels worth it!