The most common question I get asked about my pregnancy is, “Twins? Did you have fertility treatment?” And the second question I get asked is, “Do twins run in your family?”
When I first announced that I was having twins I was so excited and felt so blessed to be given not one but two babies that these questions really bothered me. Why did it matter and whose business was it anyway? The point was, I was pregnant and wanted to celebrate that fact, not explain it!
Now at 24 weeks I’m feeling much less emotional and sensitive about the whole topic. I feel more comfortable answering questions about my pregnancy and I know now that twins attract a certain amount of curiosity. It took time for me to realize that most people are generally just interested, not judgmental. Although the woman in the grocery store who pronounced (at 23 weeks) that “I looked just about ready to pop!” is not my friend…moving on.
From speaking with other women I’ve realized that everyone’s journey to pregnancy is very, very different. Sometimes that road isn’t easy, like in my case. And then there are those women, like most of my close girlfriends, who seem to look at a baby and get pregnant. The point is, everyone’s story is unique and by answering some questions and sharing mine, I hope to help or at least make one person feel better about the road they are on to pregnancy. After all, the desire to carry a baby is sewn into our female DNA. It’s a longing that can’t be filled with anything else and for that reason it makes it the most painful and joyful journey all at once. So here’s my story…
Q: How long were you and Jason trying to conceive? We tried without medical help for almost 4 years off and on before I finally consulted a doctor. I blamed our struggle on stress, a big move back to Los Angeles, and all other sorts of crazy life events along the way. I felt healthy and couldn’t imagine that my body wouldn’t just “get pregnant” when it was ready.
Over the last year and a half we got really serious about conceiving and tried everything from acupuncture and Chinese herbs to a clean eating diet, yoga, and cutting back on my work load to relieve stress. But after about one year of alternative medicine, I called my doctor.
Q: Did you go to a fertility specialist? No, the first step for me was simply finding an OB that I loved and speaking to her. Looking back I wish I hadn’t waited so long! I could have saved myself months and years of disappointment and heartache if I had only gotten the tests I needed.
Q: Did you undergo fertility treatment? Yes, and no. Thankfully we didn’t have to go as far as IVF or even IUI but it was still a process for us. I started by having blood work and testing done to detect the “problem.” When all of my tests came back normal the doctor described my particular situation as “undiagnosed infertility.” Basically they had no idea why I wasn’t getting pregnant. That moment was crushing! Thankfully my doctor is especially thorough and decided to order more blood tests the following month. The blood work showed that some months my hormone levels were normal and some months they were so low that my body couldn’t possibly be ovulating.
So, my doctor put me on a drug called Clomid to help my body ovulate as well as estrogen and progesterone at different points during the month to regulate my hormone levels.
Does Clomid increase your chances of having multiples? According to my doctor it can increase your chances but only very slightly. It’s not common for Clomid to result in multiples. If your body is not naturally ovulating, it simply helps your body to work properly.
Q: Do twins run in your family? They do now! Ha! Jason has a couple sets of twins on his side of the family but there are no twins on my side.
Q: How long after seeing your doctor did you finally conceive? I started blood work and testing last October and by the end of January/beginning of February I was pregnant! Those months felt like the longest months of my life but looking back it was such a short span of time.
Q: How did you find out you were pregnant? One Friday night, after an especially long and stressful workday, I decided to have a glass of wine and relax. But first, I decided I had better take a pregnancy test. I fully expected it to come back negative, they always did, but this time I had one solid blue line and a second faint “pregnant” line. Let’s just say there was no wine consumed that night! The following Monday I had a follow-up doctors appointment scheduled and she confirmed that I was in fact pregnant.
Q: When did you find out you were having twins? This is the crazy part of my story! My entire life people have joked about me having twins. “Watch, you are going to end up with twins,” they would say. And somehow I knew from the moment I was pregnant that it was with twins. Talk about a gut feeling!
Right away my doctor ordered a blood test to verify pregnancy. When the results came back and my pregnancy hormones were higher than usual she called me into the office for an ultrasound. At first we only saw one little embryo on the ultrasound. I was so shocked (and a little disappointed) that I actually asked my doctor if she was sure there was only one. Who asks that?! Then, as if by magic, she moved the ultrasound wand and the second baby appeared. I knew it! You should have seen the look on my doctors face…and on Jason’s.
If only I could go back and place a hand on my own shoulder all of those months ago and give myself a glimpse at the future. I would have never imagined such a dark time in my life could end up being so bright!
And if you made it to the end of this very long and personal post, thank you! Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Sometimes the super personal stuff is the hardest to share but also the most important. xo Leah
Rachel says
Good for you! I had a similar journey after a devastating pregnancy loss shortly after getting married. And now, a wonderful beautiful 3 year old who lights our family's life. It's all a wondrous miracle at the end of the day, and I'm all for showing my thankfulness and gratitude by taking advantage of the advances in modern medicine. Congrats!
Leah Bergman says
Thank you! I can't even imagine how devastating a loss like that would be. How blessed you are to have a healthy baby now. Thank goodness for modern medicine indeed. xo
Erin Phraner says
You are going to be the best mama to those little babies!! Wonderful story xo
Leah Bergman says
Thank you Erin! I sure will do my best. 🙂 xo
Casey says
I've never been pregnant but I have always found that people have like, zero boundaries with pregnant women! They're always asking a million intrusive questions, touching their stomaches without asking and being so judgmental about their labor plans, etc. It's so frustrating to see because every mom is different and that doesn't mean they won't be a good mom! Ah, end rant 🙂 Congratulations, Leah, so glad everything finally worked out for you! Here's to a happy and healthy pregnancy!
Leah Bergman says
Thank you Casey! Yes, something about a pregnant belly opens up a whole world of personal question asking and opinion giving. Thankfully the end result is worth all of that. 😉 xo
Courtney says
Thanks for sharing your struggles. We had a similar journey and I too wish I had found a doctor who wanted me to have a baby as much as I did. We would have had our children years earlier. My husband and I both were tested several times and found no reason for our infertility. My doctor didn't seem to really care and we thought our next option was IVF, which we couldn't afford. Only after reading in a book that IUI would be our next option and was MUCH more affordable, we went that route. Our first try we got pregnant, but sadly lost the baby after a couple months. However within 3-4 months we got pregnant on our own with our beautiful daughter. 2 1/2 years later we gave her a sister. My advice is to find a great doctor who is on your side and if that's not an option, educate yourself.
Congrats on your twins!
Leah Bergman says
I couldn't agree more Courtney! It's all about finding the right doctor who actually cares and won't give up on finding the answer. Congratulations on your family and all of your happiness. xo
Cassie says
Aww, I think I'm super emotional because I cried! This post is super sweet. You're going to be such a good mommy, no doubt! Twins ♥ I wish you all the best, and thank you for sharing 🙂 this post made my day!! Xx
freutcake says
Aw, it's ok I cry over everything now! Thank you for being so sweet. xo
Danielle says
What a happy story!! I don't know you that well, but what I have seen in the moments I have been around you is that you are so warm, kind and thoughtful...the universe must have been like...let's give her two! Congratulations to you both <3
freutcake says
Gosh, what a nice thing to say! Thank you so much Danielle.
Courtney says
It took my husband and I a year and a half to get pregnant. We were just at the point where we were going to consult with a doctor about what to do when we found out that we were pregnant! I am 24 weeks! What a blessing that you are having not just one, but two babies! I know the heartache that comes with wanting a baby and I am so excited for you!
freutcake says
Thank you Courtney and congratulations to you too! We must have a very similar due date.
Joanne Pio says
Aww thanks for sharing this Leah! I am beyond happy for you and Jason!! Can't wait to meet them!! 🙂
Leah Bergman says
I'm glad I finally did share! Thanks for being so supportive. Xo
Annette says
I'm so glad you & Jason are blessed with 2 babies. You guys are going to be great parents. It sucks that the road to pregnancy is sometimes rocky and difficult, but I'm glad it worked out for you guys!
Leah Bergman says
Thank you Annette! Xo
Celeste says
Moved to tears! Thank you for sharing! Love you guys!❤️
Leah Bergman says
Love you too Celeste! Xo
Stephanie Miller (Ballas) says
Congrats to you Leah! Becoming a mother is such a gift and it is so amazing you get to experience it x2! And, for the record, you look gorgeous...there will always be those little old ladies in the grocery store alluding to the fact that you look about ready to pop (or, in my case recently, lecturing me on my parenting skills - ugh!) take it slow and enjoy every minute of your pregnancy, like most things in life, it flies by in the blink of an eye. we are living in South Pas again now, would love to catch up with you and swap stories if you have the time and interest! Best of luck!
freutcake says
Thank you Stephanie! I would love to catch up for coffee or in my case tea sometime. 🙂 I can only imagine that the unsolicited opinions get worse once the babies arrive!
Iina says
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story and congratulations on your twins, Leah! We're trying to have a baby as well and I feel like my closest friends are just like yours and get pregnant the minute it occurs their minds and our case has been the total opposite. I'm so stressed the worst days I cry several times and all this stressing has caused me a stomach ulcer too! So it was very meaningful to read about your rocky road and I'm so happy for you and your husband! Wish you all the best - and greetings from Finland! 🙂
freutcake says
I'm so sorry to hear that you and your husband are struggling. I know what that feels like and it's a terrible pain. Try your best to stay positive although I know it's hard. I was at my lowest most depressed when we finally began treatment and just a few months later I was pregnant. I know this isn't always the case for everyone but modern medicine offers so much hope! I will keep you in my thoughts. Sending you healthy pregnant vibes! xo
Courtney @ Pizzazzerie says
Adore every sweet detail of this post. So proud of your journey and excited for your mama journey ahead! You're going to be the best mama to these little baby freutcakes. They're lucky!
freutcake says
Aw, thank you Courtney! That means so much to me. I feel like I'M the lucky one!
Tiffany says
Thanks for sharing, I know what you mean about the personal stuff. I'm sure your story will help someone out there going through the same thing. So happy for you and your family. Hoping for a healthy pregnancy and healthy babies, for you and me both! I'm due in December.
Leah Bergman says
Thank you and congratulations to you as well! I wish for the same, healthy babies for the both of us. xo
Isabel G says
Thank you for sharing! I appreciate how personal this is, and I am grateful that you are sharing your experience, and now wisdom.
Leah Bergman says
Thank you Isabel! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading it. Personal posts are always a bit scary to write. 🙂
themotheroverload says
Thanks so much for sharing! Congrats again for your two little ones that will soon rock your world. Being a mother is the hardest yet most rewarding job you'll ever have. I'm expecting baby #2 (just a few weeks right behind ya). And - let me just say, there will always be someone giving you their 2 cents more so once the babies come. But always keep in mind, it's coming from a complete stranger and their opinion is just that.
P.S. You look gorgeous by the way! 😉
Leah Bergman says
Thank you and congratulations right back! Sounds like I should develop some thick Mommy skin now. 😉
p.s. wow, thank you!
Christina Streit says
Leah, this is the sweetest post. So brave to share, but so helpful to someone who might be where you were.I love happy endings! You are double blessed!!
Leah Bergman says
Thanks Christina! I am definitely double blessed, I couldn't agree more. xo
Adele says
Mazel tov (congrats)... You are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful, personal and inspiring post. If you have helped just one woman and given her the courage to seek medical help- then think of how lucky a family might be! <3
Leah Bergman says
What a nice way of putting it! I do feel truly blessed x2. I hope that you are right and that my story has helped someone else. Xo
jennfisher4 says
I love that you had this feeling about twins--amazing motherly instinct! We had a similar journey to pregnancy and our girls are now 16 and almost 23 (my 4th of July girl--her due date, no less.) Enjoy these months of your pregnancy and then the wonders of parenthood after their birth. Blessings!
Leah Bergman says
Thank you! Even I was amazed at my instinct. Happy birthday to your daughter, what a fun birthday! 🙂
Melinda says
Thank you for sharing all your details with us, Leah! I'm loving your blog more and more lately and you're one of the few bloggers who actually replies back to their readers--makes us feel more connected to you! I'll admit I was curious about your pregnancy, too (but didn't feel it appropriate to ask!!). I guess we can't help but be curious! Four years seems like such a long time! I can't imagine how hard that must've been! And having the doctor tell you it was "undiagnosed infertility" would've been so frustrating and heartbreaking! 🙁 I'm sooo happy for you that things worked out, and now you're blessed with twins!!! What a great end to the story! 🙂 I know pregnancy has a lot of ups and downs but it is so fun for me to watch your journey and read all your updates. I would first get comments like "you need to eat more!" "you aren't putting on enough weight!" (even though I was doing fine!) and then after I popped, "you look HUGE!" and "you look even bigger than last time I saw you!" (yeah, thanks! I know!). Then there are a bunch of questions you'll get asked after giving birth, too! I live in Japan, so it might be different in the US, but strangers are always asking me if I'm breastfeeding or formula feeding. I used to think that was kind of a personal question, too, and not sure what they were implying....is my baby too fat? Am I producing enough milk? And you'll always get asked if your baby is sleeping well...as if any new parent needs to be reminded of their lack of sleep! It can get annoying but I try to just laugh at all the things people ask me (and all the unsolicited advice!). Anyway, just thought I'd share so you know you're not alone! 😉 Congrats, again!!
Leah Bergman says
Thanks for sharing your story! I'm so happy to have you as a reader. 🙂 As for the crazy pregnancy comments you received, It's amazing how people feel like they can ask such personal questions. And the question about breastfeeding?! That's just too much. I had better get used it those questions now. Lol
Krissy says
This has been the most insightful post about pregnancy I ever read! I'm 31 and getting married in one year and fear it will take me years. I now know I can have blood tests to check hormone levels. Thank you for being so open. You make a beautiful pregnant women!